Episode 16: Diving into the Deep End, Foster Parenting with Kelli Boyce
We talk about what it was like for Kelli to enter motherhood for the first time and what it’s been like since. When first looking into foster care her coordinator had said if it’s meant for you it will work out. She had always wanted kids so she found a way to make that possible even though she was single and hadn't had kids of her own yet. Even though it took a bit longer to finally be placed with a child, in less than 3 months she worked hard and made it possible to become eligible to be a foster mom. Kelli needed to prepare for any age and all the potential trauma that that comes with fostering.
Like many new moms, she still faced the fears of ‘can I actually do this?" and "I don’t know what I’m doing!” and she also took part in getting to share the news with her family. She realized that there was a lot of learning and growing in her journey and that she was now responsible for things like doctors appointments and setting rules, but overall she said she has never felt more purposeful and more fulfilled than when she is a foster mom. She soon realized she needed to put everything she had into someone else day and night and later learned how to find ways to still find time for herself. She suggests that other new foster moms learn to say yes to people that offer to help you and find things that the kids can do that are fun for them so you can have some time for yourself.
The transition of sending them back to their family is what you hope for but its still hard and very bitter sweet. Her family has been supportive and her nieces and nephews also love the idea but they also feel the separation when the kids transition back to their family. Some might say it’s hard to see them go but Kelli reassures us that It’s hard to let them go but these kids need this love and they need people to hold that space for them, the whole point is to care too much.
If you’re looking into being a foster parent yourself reach out to other foster parents in the area and get to know the steps that are needed specifically for you. If you know a foster mom be sure to take a moment to appreciate them, be empathetic, and support them where you can. After all, we are all mothers coming together on this journey of Entering Motherhood.
Recommended Books
The Connected Parent by Lisa Qualls and Karyn Purvis PhD
The Connected Child by Kryn Purvis PhD
The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene
Contact Kelli Boyce
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fosteringsolo/
